RAIN: Meeting Ourselves with Kindness

Sometimes, when I find myself caught in difficult emotions, I return to a practice that has gently changed the way I relate to my inner world—the RAIN practice introduced by Tara Brach during my training.

It has been one of the most transformative practices I encountered, both through Tara’s teachings and through the group sessions.

When I first heard about this practice, I felt some skepticism about how it could really help me or others. I noticed a familiar pattern in myself—a tendency to meet something new, or someone new, with a sense of doubt. And yet, as I continued to listen and observe through live and recorded sessions, I began to see how transformative RAIN could be.

As part of the training, I practiced RAIN with a partner for a few months and experienced its impact directly. With growing confidence and curiosity, I later offered the practice during a daylong retreat in Oklahoma and received positive feedback.

If you’re not familiar with RAIN, I’ll briefly share how it unfolds in practice.

RAIN begins with R – Recognize what is happening inside ourselves, especially in moments of difficulty. We might gently ask, “What am I experiencing right now?” This is not about the story we tell ourselves about a situation, but rather an invitation to see clearly what is present.

The next step is A – Allow whatever is here to be here. Once we can name what is present—an emotion or a difficult thought—we might ask, “Can I let this be, just as it is?” or “Is there space to allow this, even for a moment, without resistance or judgment?” Often, our habit is to push away what feels uncomfortable. This step invites a different way of relating.

Then we move to I – Investigate, bringing a gentle attention to the body. “Where do I feel this in my body?” “What does it feel like as a physical sensation?” This is less about analyzing and more about directly meeting the experience. For example, “Right now I am feeling fear, and I notice it as a tightness in my chest.”

The final step is N – Nurture, offering care to what we are experiencing. This might be placing a hand on the chest or belly, or offering kind words such as “You will be okay” or “I understand.” In this moment, we become both the one who is holding and the one being held. Sometimes, it can help to imagine these words coming from someone we trust or feel comforted by, such as a close friend or a grandmother.

Reading about this practice may not fully convey how it works. Mindfulness is experiential, so if this resonates, you might gently try it for yourself, especially when strong emotions arise. The steps do not always unfold in a fixed order, and it is important to listen to your inner wisdom. At times, allowing may come before clearly naming what is present.

You might wonder why this practice matters.

I often notice how easy it is for us to feel stuck when strong emotions arise. Old stories in the mind can repeat themselves, feeding emotions that have not been fully met. I see this in others, and I also recognize it in myself. These are patterns I continue to work with.

When I can see more clearly what is happening inside me and respond with care, even briefly, I can taste a sense of freedom. My breath softens, and there is a little more space in my mind. I’m often reminded of a line by Viktor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Reflecting on the past several years, as I have engaged in mindfulness practice with more intention, I can see that I am in a very different place now. When I find myself in a challenging situation, I am more able to pause and choose a response, rather than react in familiar ways. It is not perfect—it often feels like trial and error—but there is a sense of curiosity in the process.

At times, I notice myself thinking, “I used to respond this way because it felt familiar and safe. This time, I will try something different—something that feels a little lighter in my body and more aligned with my integrity and honesty.”

RAIN can be practiced with recorded guidance, such as the meditations offered by Tara. At the same time, I have found it to be especially powerful when practiced with another person. When someone holds space with presence and care, it can feel safer to turn